Our Cup runneth over in sports

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I’m sure that the just completed World Cup took so much of your time that many of you were kept away from many other sports stories over the past month so here’s a chance to get you back up to speed.

I’m sure that the just completed World Cup took so much of your time that many of you were kept away from many other sports stories over the past month so here’s a chance to get you back up to speed.

Okay, fine, maybe that’s wishful thinking, but it was quite a decent tournament. The United States did well, the world got itself a new champion —  finally — and had some memorable moments.

Of course, most importantly, I was a missed penalty kick away from getting all four semifinalists right, but I still got 13 of 16 teams right in the second round and six of eight quarterfinalists, but who’s keeping track?

Heck, I even had Holland beating Spain in the final, but, enough about that.

Over the past month enough news has kept the sports world’s blood pumping to make this summer as dramatic as it gets.

1. Lebron bolts and Gilbert cries

Okay let’s just say it like it is.

Lebron James is not a bad young man. Not at all.

But, come on, Lebron.

Let’s review:

No rings.

One finals appearance and you were swept.

No rings.

Numerous choke jobs in big moments, i.e. like the whole Celtics series this year.

No rings.

Biggest stat-padder for 45-minutes to fold at the end of games since Tim Duncan (trust me, look at the stats, Dunk-On’s rings came thanks to other players making the clutch plays while his stats took a dive.)

No rings.

But we should have a television show on ESPN to announce LeBron’s leaving Cleveland?

Um, no.

At least he admits he needs to play beside a closer (D-Wade) in order to win.

As for Cleveland? Their owner Dan Gilbert proceeded to insult James to no end after his decision.

Of course, Gilbert, another one of those unremarakbly rich people who got rich doing something unremarkable, seemed to forget James made Cleveland (Cleveland!), well, remarkable, for almost a decade (isn’t there a law somewhere against that?), made the franchise a ton of money, and kept the team competitive.

But Gilbert wanted Lebron to hang around by building a “competitive” team around the “King” by putting Mo Williams, Antwan Jamison, Betty White, and Hurley from Lost on the roster along with him.

Gilbert you will be just as irrelevant 20 years from now as you were before you got lucky enough to be considered rich.

James may not be a Jordan, but at least he isn’t a baby.

2. Tired of the myth

The USA soccer team had a goal disallowed that would have “won” the game against Slovenia 3-2.

I finally decided to speak out.

That is not true.

In fact, for over 25 years I have known the truth about the greatest myth in sports and am about to divulge it.

Here it is:

The statement: “IF only this/that didn’t happen we would have won the game,” is never applicable UNLESS it occurs on the last play of the game.

Period. End of argument.


Because after coaching, and playing, sports for a long time here is what I know: players and coaches perform to the flow of a game. They make

adjustments to the situation at hand.

If my team gets a three-point shot taken away and we now trail by six points instead of three with two minutes left, I make the adjustments


How do we know that after the “3” my team wouldn’t relax and end up losing by 10?

It’s called ebb and flow. Cause and effect.

How do we know that if the USA had scored that Slovenia wouldn’t have had a hissy fit and went off and scored three goals in 15 minutes?

It’s happened.

So enough of the excuses in all of our sports.

3. College sports realignment

A 12-team Big 10.

A 10-team Big 12.

A 12-team PACIFIC-10 conference which features Colorado and Utah and almost picked up four Texas schools (how New Wave!).

A celebration of coaches like Urban Meyer who won everywhere he went with other coaches’ players and, when he finally has all his players, gets beat, has a drama attack and retires for six nanoseconds.

Is it me or is college football starting to get tired?

4. Another Danica commercial

William Heung.

Paris Hilton.

Danica Patrick.

What do they all have in common?

Zero talent that has garnered one iota too much national and international media attention.

Danica Patrick? Are you serious?

The woman is the Jenny McCarty of sports. A total sell out who makes herself a Maxim, Stuff, Men, Men, Men, magazine maven and an overrated hot mama on Go Daddy and all we get in the promotion of Indy and NASCAR are Danica Patrick commercials?

Earth to modern sports television media members: She has barely any, and arguably, no talent.

She’s won, what, one race? In, what, five years?

She’s ranked 11th in the IndyCar rankings with one second place finish this season. Now in NASCAR that would sound okay, but Indy? Well there have been a whopping 20 racers who have competed in all nine events to date.

Eleventh out of 20? Really? Seriously? That’s promo worthy?

Danica is like the team that just missed out on the Canadian Football League playoffs — don’t they have like 12 teams? — or in true competitors’ language, NOT GOOD.

If she didn’t act like a siren trying to lure “fans” with her physical appearance, commericals like “they prefer to talk, I prefer to drive,” drivel would never be created.

Hey, Danica isn’t the act of making commericals talking about “only driving” but never winning, making you a bigger talker than the people who keep pointing out that you never win, which you don’t?

Danica is equivalent to the modern-day Detroit Lions, Los Angeles Clippers, and Pittsburgh Pirates.

Do we see their ugly mugs on national television promos?

That’s what I thought.

5. The Storm/Mariners

The MLB’s biggest modern-day merc took his talents to Arlington, Texas as the Mariners made it official: they’ve quit on the 2010 season.

So why not just fire Wakamatsu now? This team can’t hit and great pitching obviously wasn’t valued enough to keep the boat afloat.

While the M’s fans decide to spend the summer further away from Fox Sports Northwest and on better things, like sleeping, don’t forget about the WNBA Storm.

A 16-2 record, top marks in the league, and a legitimate chance at title number two make them a better watch even if the quality of the league is debatable.

Storm trump the Mariners for summer entertainment, nuff said.

And did I happen to mention I was a missed penalty kick away from being one of only a few people to get all four World Cup semifinalists picked correctly?

Honestly, it almost slipped my mind.

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