Moses Lake parents upset over fights

Posted: Monday, Sep 29, 2008 - 01:36:51 pm PDT

By Chrystal Doucette
Herald staff writer

Chrystal Doucette/Columbia Basin Herald Tracy Dayett holds a photo of her daughter at a board meeting Thursday, after her daughter was allegedly assaulted at Moses Lake High School.

District to investigate

MOSES LAKE - A group of parents expressed frustration Thursday with student violence at Moses Lake High School.

Moses Lake resident Tracy Dayett spoke at a school district board meeting about an alleged assault against her daughter, a freshman at the high school.

After the discussion, the school board promised to look into the incident. Special Assistant to the Superintendent P.J. De Benedetti planned to begin gathering information Friday.

Dayett claims her daughter was repeatedly threatened by another student and her daughter was allegedly harassed at a football game Sept. 15. She said it was reported to school officials.

She said her daughter was reportedly assaulted four days later, and was dropped on her head by the suspect student, who moved to Moses Lake from Tacoma, Wash. Her daughter allegedly passed out from the attack.

Dayett reported to file a restraining order against the suspect student, and the suspect student was expelled for 30 days from school.

She said her daughter is afraid to go to school because friends of the expelled student may retaliate.

"My daughter walks out into the hallway from her class and it's like she's crossing the street, her friend was saying. She looks both ways to see if she can go where she needs to go," Dayett said. "She shakes. I've had to sleep with her two nights since Friday because all she does it have nightmares."

Dayett claims the assault disrupted her daughter's learning because she doesn't feel safe.

"What really irritates me is she reported it on Monday and nothing was done and she was attacked on Friday, and I find that inexcusable," she said.

She asked what the school board would do to protect her child. Members of the audience appeared to agree with Dayett in seeking answers.

"We're all here to support her and her child, and all of our children because just talking to parents around since this incident happened, I've come across about 30 different incidents that everybody's children are afraid," said Moses Lake resident Lucilla Anderson.

Anderson spoke in support of more school security.

Dayett said the violence seems to be primarily an issue at the high school. She said some Moses Lake parents send their children to Soap Lake or Wilson Creek to go to high school, but she's not willing to do it.

"It's not fair to them," husband Jeff Dayett added.

Moses Lake resident Mary Martinez said her granddaughter, a high school student, is afraid to go to school.

"She's told me that she's afraid to even go to school because there's fights every day and at the halls. She can't even walk because it's so crowded in there," Martinez said. "And if somebody pushes somebody, then the fight starts right there and it's just really terrible in there."

Responding to claims there is a lack of security at the high school, De Benedetti said there are two security officers and a school resource officer who splits his time between schools, including Moses Lake High School. A second resource officer covers most of the other schools.

"We're not likely going to say, 'Oh, your 30 days is up. You're back in school,'" said school board member Randy Bruce. "That's not going to happen. There is going to be a lot of things that are going to happen before this goes. I would personally like to hear from the high school, principal, and the security staff. I would personally like to hear what their plans are on being able to make our schools safe. I'm appalled, to be honest with you."

Board President Allan Burritt said, "Like Randy said, she won't go back to school until-"

"Until her 30 days are up," Dayett interrupted.

"No, not necessarily," Burritt clarified. "It depends on, number one, what takes place in court on Tuesday."

He said the court would determine whether the restraining order is awarded, which will determine whether she has the capability to return to school.

Moses Lake resident Dan Folger said his daughter was brought in as a witness to the assault.

"Ever since she was brought into the principals' office to witness this, she's been threatened every single day since," Folger said.

Malinda Folger said the expelled girls' friends saw her daughter go in as a witness.

"You snitch. I will beat you so bad, you will wish you were dead," Folger said, reading a piece of paper.

Bruce confirmed from the parents the threatening students are still in school.

De Benedetti planned to look into it Friday.

Board members Lew Mason and Vicki Groff were absent from the meeting.

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single mom wrote on Oct 6, 2008 2:42 PM:

" I AM A SINGLE MOM WHO LOVES HER DAUGHTER MORE THEN ANYTHING...WHEN TIMEOUT DOESNT WORK...SHE GETS A SPANKING..THERE IS A DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A SWAT ON THE BUTT THEN BEATING THE HOLLY #### OUT OF THEM...WHEN THE TIME FOR HER TO GO TO MLHS COMES, I DONT KNOW THAT I WILL LET HER...WHEN WILL THE SCHOOL DISTRICT OPEN THEIR EYES! HELLO THERE IS A PROBLEM THERE...FIGHTS EVERYDAY SINCE SCHOOL STARTED...THE PROBLEM WITH TODAYS KIDS...THEY WERE NEVER TAUGHT RIGHT FROM WRONG...THEY WERE NEVER SWATTED OR PUNISHED IN ANYWAY...THANK YOU TO THOSE PARENTS WHO HAVE RAISED THEM SO WELL...NOW EVERYONE ELSE HAS TO DEAL WITH THE PUNISHMENT THAT YOU COULDNT "

nedra wrote on Sep 30, 2008 3:31 PM:

" Here is a program that my home town is involved with. G.R.E.A.TFor any parent out there who needs ideas about where we need to begin as a community this might just be it. I have 3 daughters and on is in high school I hear about who said what and who did what to whom. I ask that we look into this program and find out better ways to help our schools and our childeren deal with the lack of parenting and the lack of the schools responses. The time is now Please look into it and pass it around.Nedra "

Jerry wrote on Sep 30, 2008 2:48 PM:

" If the perp and family can sue the school for intervening, the victim and family should be able to as well(school and perp). It is a sorry state of affairs when a lawsuit and the threat thereof govern the way we behave. Right is right, wrong is wrong. Violence in the home is not the answer for the kids, but I can think of a lot of creative tasks to curb future misbehavior. I had to pick rocks all day when I misbehaved as a young kid. "

Bruce wrote on Sep 30, 2008 1:48 PM:

" It is frustrating. Believe me the administrators and teachers would love to simply make children responsible for their actions. The problem is their hands are tied. It used to be when someone was disruptive, they were kicked out of school. Unfortunately the law does not allow that anymore. Now the law says that the school district has to continue educating the child even if he/she is expelled. It seems to me that the law has to change in order for things to get better. "

parent wrote on Sep 30, 2008 1:45 PM:

" Mabe we the parents and students should go on strike! bet the would open some eyes on a state level "

Heathen wrote on Sep 30, 2008 1:36 PM:

" Can we please stop promoting the idea that spanking or beating or paddling your child is good parenting? The majority of bullies were spanked or paddled or beaten by their parents. It's not a cure-all. I don't lay a hand on my son, and you can bet he's not part of the problem. He also knows that it's not right for someone else to hurt him--something a lot of kids who are victims of corporal punishment never quite figure out. This problem has to do with irresponsible parents whose kids don't have proper values. Spanking doesn't magically infuse your child with proper values. At its best, it teaches them to be scared of people bigger than them. At its worst, it teaches them that there's always someone smaller than them who could use a beating. "

Chris wrote on Sep 30, 2008 1:03 PM:

" I cannot believe how many different "solutions" and "responses" are being suggested, but nobody seems to be saying simply the only solution that will work: zero tolerance. Bullies should be expelled. Period. First of all, it will make victims and reporters safe. Second, it would likely serve as a (finally) real deterrent if they knew it's a one shot deal. Ignoring, begging, increasing security, and blaming the parents doesn't work. Make them know that there is a consequence the first time. Those who are not smart enough to heed it are gone. "

concerned one wrote on Sep 30, 2008 12:18 PM:

" they should have moved the children that were threatening from the school as accomplisses. more than likely they were involved every single moment of the fight. More than likely the kids that are threatening are still in school because the school didnt see it big enough to expell the students.

My last year of high school I was walking with my Boyfriend and an old friend went up to me punching me in the stomach as i was pregnant and my boyfriend had grabbed him and fought with him. as punishment my boyfriend had received isd. but the student that had punched me got away with it. "

Mr Burton wrote on Sep 30, 2008 10:49 AM:

" I too have had problems with other students at ML concerning my Daughter and had to aquire a restraining order for her. Mr Rameriz and officer Lopez I beleive have done an outstanding job in handling some of these situations. Although they alone cannot control nor be there for every situation that occurs. It is a lack of parental responsiability with their children in setting standards and morals with their children at home. In which many seem to continue to fail to do for their children. We cannot treat these children as hardend criminals which is what seems to be what we are doing.
Treat them as criminals and they will act like criminals. Punish the parents in these cases along with the child. "

Karen wrote on Sep 30, 2008 10:37 AM:

" I find it ironic that several of the letters below suggest violence in the home as the cure for violence in the schools. There are more appropriate and more effective "consequences" which parents can impose on their children than to physically hurt them. I suspect that those children who are doing the bullying at school have learned that behavior at home. "

John wrote on Sep 30, 2008 10:10 AM:

" I am a teacher who graduated from MLHS but teach in Western Washington. First of all there is a "harassment, intimidation and bullying" policy that we have an it is posted in every classroom and used whenever the need arises. There is also a State House Bill that addresses this issue. It sounds as if the ML school district is not very proactive in this case. It sounds as if there needs to be some serious consequences for those who are still harassing and intimidating the witnesses and the victims.

The big thing that is being thrown around on this board is what a joke 30 suspensions are. The problem some of you may not be aware of is exactly how hard it is to expel a student. There is due process anytime a student is long term suspended or expelled. That is why 30 days was the only recourse until after the due process takes place.

As for teachers not breaking up fights it; that is in regards to lawsuits that have been filed because teachers broke up fights and somebodies precious little child was hurt while the teacher was pulling him or her off of the student that they were attacking causing serious emotional distress.

Unfortunately you can't have it both ways. You have schools who want to protect students from violence both physical and emotional. However with all of the parents who have said "It is not your job as a school to discipline my child" and "my child has a right to be at school regardless of how they act," it will continue to be a problem. Parents of these out of control kids are willing to battle in court instead to taking responsibility for the actions of their child. Because of this schools will continue to have little recourse in keeping all children safe from many of these incidents because of the erosion of tolls they have to curb this behavior.

Schools are bound by laws in how they deal with these situations. The laws have become much more restrictive in regards to how to deal with these students. Now in this case it seems that more should have been done prior to the fight and schools are not immune from scrutiny. However when parents continue to bail out little Johnnie because kids will be kids then this will continue to happen. "

lm wrote on Sep 30, 2008 9:31 AM:

" I am a single mom with a son in middle school here in Moses Lake. I was very young and clueless when I had him and I have to say he has turned out to be an amazing, well mannered, caring boy. We have a very close relationship and we talk about this kind of stuff all the time. Bulling starts in Elementary believe it or not. He has told me incidents that have gone on at Knolls Vista last year that I couldnt comprehend because the kids are so young, however I feel they pick it up maybe from their older siblings. How can these kids concentrate on school when all they can think about is how scared they are going and just trying to make it to the next class where maybe they can be safe for another half hour. Its crazy how things have gotten so poor here. Some kids probably dont have the close realtionship with their papents so the parents have no clue what the child is really going through, no support. Its sad and If my son ever had to deal with something like this, and who knows maybe he will be one of the victims in the future, I will make damn sure I take the right steps on protecting my son and not leaving it up to the school to do. They dont care, its not their child. We as parents need to protect our kids at any cost imaginable, its our duty..... "

CC wrote on Sep 30, 2008 9:27 AM:

" School is a place of learning, this violence has to stop. These disruptive bullies need to be expelled, there is no place in school for this behavior. As a tax payer and a parent, I should be able to send my kids to school and not have to worry that they are there in fear everyday. Keep up the fight for whats right Mr. and Mrs. Dayett. "

Concerned wrote on Sep 30, 2008 9:13 AM:

" I am totally appalled at what I just read! This child could have been seriously injured or killed and the school gives the bully 30 days! You have got to be kidding me! Nice slap on her hand and don't do it again honey! And the witnesses are being threatened! I bet all the kids are willing to point out the abusers after that!! How are these children going to learn and grow when they are afraid to walk down the hall or cross the street! They can't make eye contact and say good morning without being scared of getting hit! How sad that the parents of these bullies aren't doing something!! No one should have to home school their child because of fear! That isn't right and the ML School District should fix this ASAP before it gets way out of hand!! "

beaver wrote on Sep 30, 2008 7:23 AM:

" Growing up in Moses Lake I felt safe. Now that my children are in school I do not feel the same way for them. We recently moved out of state and my 12yr old son says he feels safer here then at the schools in Moses Lake. If you bump into someone they don't yell and threaten you like they do there. In elementary school my son had issues and in a week nothing was done. I went to the school district office and spoke with my old principal Monte Redal. Things were fixed the next day. What happen to there being consequences for your acction? Do you think the child cares if she does't have to go to school? No its a vacation for her. The parents of the attacker should be held accountable for how they are raising their daughter! "

Jim wrote on Sep 30, 2008 6:44 AM:

" Whats really sad is that students aren't allowed to defend themselves anymore and if they do, both are suspended. What kind of bull is that?

You know if the County Bike cops aren't busy in county and are a little tired of sitting at Baskin Robbins giving seat belt tickets, maybe they could make thier presence known at the high school.

I'm just sayign is all "

Been there wrote on Sep 30, 2008 1:52 AM:

" This is nothing new. My daughter was victimized in the late 80's at the high school and officials did nothing. Best of luck to you - maybe times have changed enough for something to be done. "

Chozen1 wrote on Sep 29, 2008 10:24 PM:

" I'm very Upset to say the least that this stuff is still happening 15 pluss years later, even after the Frontier Shooting. I experienced harassement in school as well and my Mother did the same thing. Told the School Principal and nothing ever happened. I eventually started running with a Gang. I Pray and hope that does'nt have to happen to any one else. P.S. I'm now a Productive member of this Community. "

FED UP wrote on Sep 29, 2008 10:19 PM:

" I get so sick to my stomach everytime I hear of a fight breaking out in our schools. ENOUGH is ENOUGH!!! Where is the accountability? Yes, I'm talking to you: principles, security guards, PARENTS-PARENTS, teachers and staff!!!
Whether our kids are directly or indirectly involved everyone is affected by BULLYING. How can our children succeed if there is no safety in our schools? Moses Lake School District is failing our children. Hold bullying students ACCOUNTABLE- there needs to be harsher consequences especially for the retaliating 'friends' of expelled student(s). What about them? And most of all, where's the help for the victims? We need to come together and teach our children to become EMPOWERED not victimized! "

What have the schools become wrote on Sep 29, 2008 10:00 PM:

" Sad that this is still going on I had a brother that was bullied time over and over and noone ever did anything about it. The high school principal needs to get another job doing something else cause he has no control over these kids and he is doing a poor job now!!!! "

BPM wrote on Sep 29, 2008 8:36 PM:

" The reality is that there is a dual problem of (A) most parents being utterly worthless, (B) a culture unwilling to place the burden - and blame - on the shoulders of the culpable and (C) a lack of legitimate emphasis on academics and discipline.

It is a three front problem that the parents start, the kids perpetuate, and the school district enables because most school administrators are cowards, saying their hands are tied when the reality is that they are simply unwilling to risk funding by taking a position. "

nedra wrote on Sep 29, 2008 7:44 PM:

" I lived in a small town were we had to have two high school's to counter act the over crowding . We had three officer's in the school. One for the gang fight's , one for the drugs , and one because of stupied feuds between chideren that didn't seem to get why there where even fighting in the first place. From there they started programs. We as a group came together and placed these chideren in classes together .They then had to work together and come up with a community project and if they didn't do this they then were kicked out. Kind of like the last chance. Parents also have to get involved. That was a requirement for a student to pass.

If the school and the parents come together and the officers come up with some great programs you might just have a school to be proud of. If not you will never get pass the problems this communtiy will face long term. I do hope that if I have to be there because someone has given my daughter trouble the school will be prepaired to deal and handle me. And yes I may be small but I do not back down when my childern are at risk all because there school can't get there act together. So before you have another school shooting I hope you have all done what ever you can to make things safe for all students.

Nedra "

yea yea wrote on Sep 29, 2008 7:26 PM:

" School officials try to gloss over the situation to cover themselves. If it were their family being beat up they would react differently. "

AnneC wrote on Sep 29, 2008 6:20 PM:

" Bulling doesn't just happen in Moses Lake...Its all over this county. I pulled my son from Ephrata because the school wouldn't do anything to the kids bulling him.

Now he home schools through Columbia Virtual Academy and loves it. I know several people from Moses Lake going though CVA as well because of how poor Moses Lake schools have gotten.

My husband graduated from Moses Lake and it is so much worse now then it was 15 years ago; and it was bad then. Kids today are way more vicious then when we were in school. They know no matter what they do...they will get away with it. The schools just give them a few days off and then they are back to bulling. Its sad and the parents don't do anything about it, or worse encourage it. "

Citizen wrote on Sep 29, 2008 5:52 PM:

" The bully student needs to be put in jail!!! If there is a domestic violence isn't it true that one is always put into jail?? What's the difference here???? There should be assault charges placed on the bully and her clan for conspiracy. "

Your Confused wrote on Sep 29, 2008 5:44 PM:

" I think some of you are really confused. First of all my aunt used to work in the schools and did you know that some people like the teachers and other school staff wont even help brake up fights because it is against there contract and not there job. IS THAT NOT STUPID? My other question is to these stupid parents. Do you allow your students to look at fights on you tube and myspace. If the answer is yes, or you dont no then you are to blame. Right now kids see what they want on the net and think it is cool. I think it is about time for the school to figure some things out and the principle. Make the teachers brake up fights and teach the parents some lessons! "

A Concerned Sister wrote on Sep 29, 2008 5:34 PM:

" The school just doesn't care. I can prove this point simply by saying when I contacted the school in regards to my brothers grades and academics. I got little to no response. Josh Meeks ignores me, as does Mr. Yonko. It seems to me that they are ok with failing students and failing grades. With all that said, if they are ok with failures, why not let them beat on each other as well. It is sickening what has happened to our children.
I stood up and said enough. I took over the parenting of my brother, and said you will FAIL no more. But I was met with nothing but resistance...and I had all legal rights to this info and they still fought me. I am ashamed to say that I graduated from this school, as it has become the joke of the state.

On the District Website
Our Mission Statement:
An academic community dedicated to learning, teaching, guiding, and challenging.

So when are they planning to live up to this? Before or after someone kills our kids? "

stop bullying wrote on Sep 29, 2008 5:20 PM:

" 30 days? That is ridiculous. That bully is enjoying their vacation and the rest of the students are learning that bullying is acceptable. If that was my kid I would pull them out and home school them, not rely on the school district to protect them. clueless is right, it's only a matter of time before some kid takes a gun to school to retaliate or commits suicide because they are so frustrated with the school district ignoring bullies! "

clueless wrote on Sep 29, 2008 5:04 PM:

" Hate to bring up the tragic past, but history could repeat itself here if this is not taken care of NOW! Everyone knows what I am referring too and incase you do not, I think the year was 1996? Most kids today do not respect people. I see it in stores all around here, they are rude, curse and plainly inconsiderate of others. It does start with the parents. do not give me that crap of you being a single parent and blah, blah, blah. You can punish your kid and most need a good whack every now and then, is it abuse? NO, abuse is if you continue for no reason. Corrective action gets' their attention.

I wish the best for the Dayetts and Folgers. "

shawna wrote on Sep 29, 2008 4:57 PM:

" i agree parents have to take responabilty for there kids, its our job to teach our kids from right and wrong.this needs to be stopped before something gets out of hand. "

agnostic wrote on Sep 29, 2008 4:44 PM:

" Same b.s....different year. The schools don't want to get involved with conflict between students. they don't want to be held accountable. They will not listen to students reports of threats. i've experienced it first hand. Twice, with two different children. Maybe we need to replace DeBenedetti... "

Robin wrote on Sep 29, 2008 4:28 PM:

" I believe we have let out kids "be themselves" long enough. We keep letting them get away with more and more because it's the "right way" to raise our kids. I say bull*&%^. It is not against a childs right to be punished and we need to start punishing them in the schools because obviously the parents aren't doing it at home. With Parents working more, we are letting too much get by so if we need help, lets let our schools and churchs, etc help. I for one am not opposed to spanking my child with a belt or paddle..Once..Also parents say it's against their rights to imbarass their children but if they act like a dunce, put them in the corner and let them look like a dunce. "

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Moses Lake parents upset over fights